Monster Dildo Through And Through – The Craziest Dildos For You!
Halloween is just around the corner. And I can’t believe it’s been weeks that I’m writing about dildos…this certainly has been an enlightening venture. But now it’s Halloween soon and of course, today I closed my eyes and decided to write about monster dildos. Typing “monster dildo meaning” or “best monster dildo” on Google brought me results and lists, one after another, of dildos longer than my arms. But I wonder, are monster dildos only good because they’re big?
I mean, I’ve already written an article about huge dildos and covered everything about how to use them or what to do with them…so, when I wrote about monster dildos, it could not, for the life of me, be another article listing why size queens are so passionate about these dildos. The monster dildos I want to talk about come with a twist. They might be huge, or not, but they sure belong to monsters that make Halloween so much fun!
Some Monster Dildos You Cannot Miss
If you’re familiar with all the other articles I’ve written, you’ll know that this section is supposed to be a bit later…but I’m too excited to just not start talking about these amazing pieces of wonder! This Halloween, give your sex toy collection that added edge with these babies. Check out the grooviest list of monster dildos ever:
CreatureCock
This monster dildo is one of the most exclusive and one of the most truly fancy dildos that there are! To begin with, it’s magnificent to look at! And the texture, don’t even get me started on it…it’s ribbed, it’s rugged but also entirely smooth! This is the truest most realistic monster dildo you could get your hands on. It even realistically looks like it belongs to a creature from your imagination. It has a fine length of 6.5 inches and is handmade with care.
The material is platinum-grade silicone and completely safe to use. And on the website, you can also read a short description of how CreatureCock’s journey to further its bloodline has just begun. This will definitely help you take your ideas regarding CreatureCock in the right direction. If you’re in the mood to be raided by a monster who is ruthless and hungry for procreation… you’ve found what you’re looking for.
FrankenCock
This monster dildo is a conversation piece through and through. If you get this, you wouldn’t just want to put it inside a closed drawer, you’d actually want to get it out and show it to anyone who even remotely shares your enthusiasm about monster dildos! Yes, everyone knows about the Frankenstein monster…but how many of them get to be with the Frankenstein monster the way only the most quirky of minds can imagine? I mean, just look at it – the realistic details, the coloring – FrankenCock really is a piece of art.
Obviously, you can find the story of FrankenCock on the website. You might as well read about how this monster is deranged and roams on earth seeking his creator, but that doesn’t stop him from fulfilling your sensual demands. The 6.5 inches of this monster with ‘bolt balls’ that you’ll get for yourself will serve you the very best. This monster dildo really is one of a kind.
Bitten
This unique dildo is the true Halloween monster dildo. Prank a partner by pulling this out of your pants because uh oh, you’ve been bitten! The entire body of this dildo is handcrafted to be realistic except that one part with the two fang bites. Blood is shown to be gushed out of this monster dildo…and what better way to scream away in pleasure this Halloween than to have a good time with this monster dildo!
Apparently, found in Transylvania, it’s the last surviving part of the male vampire. Well, how far do you think you can go with this? If you’re a monster enthusiast, this monster dildo is a must-have. The insertable length is 6.25 inches and as this monster dildo is made with platinum grade silicone, you should have no qualms about whether it’ll be safe to put it inside you. You only need to ask yourself that…are you ready to turn into a creature of the night?
Jake The Minotaur
This is a monster dildo not just because it belongs to one but also because it’s huge! The fun of being with a monster is doubled with Jake the Minotaur! This fabulous monster definitely had to have a fabulous cock…so of course, this monster dildo gets 10 out of 10 when it comes to getting the representation right. This monster dildo is sturdy, almost 13 inches long, and comes with fully formed bouncy balls that can act as a butt plug.
What’s more, it is also harness-compatible! This monster dildo is made with platinum silicone so it is completely safe to use. The texture is smooth with realistic veins running along the length of this monster dildo. Jake the Minotaur is something you’ve never had before! Do not miss your chance, because if you’re traveling to the dark realms, apparently, Jake the Minotaur is your perfect companion!
Cerberus Monster Dog Dildo
Who hasn’t heard of this three-headed guard dog of hell? Well, if you haven’t, Cerberus is both fierce and alluring. Companion to Hades, the God of death, Cerberus will punish you regardless of if you’ve been good or bad. But of course, you’ll like this punishment. The Cerberus monster dildo is a popular one, and so of course it needed to be on this list.
This monster dildo is customizable, so you can choose the colors you want this dildo to have. You can also pick the firmness you desire this dildo to have. It’s handmade from platinum silicone and is 100% safe to use. The tip of this 6.5 inch (although it comes in 4 sizes from small to extra large expanding from 6.5 to 11 inches) monster dildo is narrow, the shaft is tapered and it comes with an extra-large knot – because after all, Cerberus is a dog. Combine the pleasures together this Halloween with this monster dog dildo!
How Do We Use These Monster Dildos?
Now that you’ve checked the list out and decided to get yourself one of these mind-blowing sex toys, let’s get down to business…how to make most of these monster dildos? This friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous for reasons I’m going to tell you next, had one of these dildos – one that had swirls running across the length of it – and he decided to become a unicorn for Halloween. Yes, my middle-aged buddy stuck a dildo on his head and roamed about being a majestic creature for the evening. You can also try and do something like that.
I’m kidding here. (Or am I really?) You do not have to stick a dildo to your head and become a unicorn on Halloween! Ah but you can always try that prank I talked about while describing the Bitten monster dildo. And if that’s not really your style or you’d just simply rather not scare the living daylights out of your partner (you know what, it sounds like fun, do it – do it – do it!!)…Try out one of these ways to use a monster dildo instead:
Give your monster dildo a persona
Using a dildo of this kind has its own quirks. You and I both know these pieces of quality work will not be appreciated by everyone. Unique dildos need unique tastes. You, as you’re here reading this, and I, both have that unique taste and ability to think of marvels hidden to others. Use this image to create a persona for your monster dildo. When you use your monster dildo you should know who this monster is. Create stories in your head about why he’s here and most importantly, why you’ve chosen this monster to be with you.
Do not forget to load up on lube and have fun!
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. At times, you think you want something but you might not be sure about it. It’s obviously advisable to try everything at least once but if, when you’re using a monster dildo – or any dildo for that matter – and you feel like this is not for you, trust that feeling. If your body is trying to tell you it doesn’t want something, listen to it.
Take my advice, lube helps. Make sure to get yourself that bottle of lube along with a dildo.
Monster Dildo Frequently Asked Questions
Have any questions about monster dildos? Would like some reviewed? Leave a comment below!
What exactly is a monster dildo?
Hmm, a monster dildo typically is a massive dildo or a huge dildo. Note that it’s different from a horse dildo as they are anatomically different from huge dildos. A monster dildo, in this sense, is a dildo that’s long enough to extremely please a size queen. But, there are places – online or otherwise – that take the word ‘monster’ quite literally and create dildos that would look like they most definitely belong to creatures of the dark. I’ve presented a list of such monster dildos above, but you can find so many more options for yourself other than these as well!
