Are You Ready to Ride The Horse Dildo?
An exclusive on what a horse dildo is and if a horse dildo is something you should definitely give a try!
I’m too old to be Googling “horse dildo meaning” at 2 AM in the morning, but I still did. And as Ted Mosby once said, ‘nothing good ever happens after 2 AM‘, no, wait, I think Ted’s mother said that – anyway, it stands corrected. I got way too excited looking at certain horse dildos.
Putting away my general insomnia aside, I had to wake up at 8 AM for some work and I decided since it was 6 AM then, I’ll write up an article about horse dildos since I was wide awake already. I also got some exercise done and now I can’t sit on the toilet without feeling like I’m 70 but you don’t want to hear about that.
Reddit is a great place, we all will agree. So it’s obvious I went there to find out more about these horse dildos. What I found out was, people who are willing to use these massive dildos wouldn’t necessarily want to be penetrated by the said animal (horse). They opt for it because,
- They find the texture and quality of horse dildos better than human dildos.
- Because of the large size, horse dildos are more satisfying, or ‘filling’ and most importantly
- Human dildos are boring.
Yes, when you think about it in the wee hours of the night, human penises are sort of boring unless you know how to use them. Do we need an article on how to properly use your junk? Mm, we’ll see. But for now, let’s dive into what a horse dildo is, how to use a horse dildo, and list up some good dildos that would suit you.
Why Would Someone Use a Horse Dildo?
To put it in fairly simple words, people want to have fun. We grow up with inhibitions and once in every person’s life, if we’re lucky, we realize we don’t really have to follow any rules or conventions to simply please anyone anymore. How many times have I not bought something because I don’t need it, I just want it? Countless times.
I could write a whole article about the things I thought, or even think, I shouldn’t because of certain conventions. Well, not anymore. If I want a dildo that is 13 inches long, I’ll get it. Maybe someone came home one day and thought, hey, a 6-inch human dick just won’t do anymore…Let’s get groovy with the length!
You can have multiple reasons to use a horse dildo. It doesn’t necessarily have to be why your partner or your friend or even that neighbor is using it. Here are a few reasons why you or anyone would want to use a horse dildo. Let’s just say this is the unofficial origin story of the horse dildos, okay?
Top Reasons For Using a Horse Dildo
- You could simply be curious. You could be that cat who survived curiosity – we want a few of those in this world, wouldn’t you agree? Think about it…why would anyone want a horse dildo so massive it looks inhuman? Well because it is not human! It’s a horse dildo! Keep up!
- Or you’ve decided to conjure up your sense of adventure! You’ve seen how they do it in those porn videos…is that something you think you can do? Is that something you want to do? Well, you and I both know porn isn’t real and authentic most times but a horse dildo is…real, authentic and right here for you to try!
(I should add that these dildos are made from body-safe silicone and they don’t, in fact, belong to an actual horse. I’m just putting this out there in case you think I have a few horses stacked somewhere who miss a certain part because that part is in my bedside drawer. I might be into funky-looking dildos named after animals but I’m not into hurting animals. You shouldn’t be either.)
- You could just be someone who has acquired a taste for dildos that are unusual. Like me. I’m completely planning on getting a horse dildo for myself. In fact, I called up people I knew at 7 in the morning to ask about their experiences using a horse dildo.
- You have a fetish. I see you, I understand you and I value you. Read on to know more about horse dildos: products and usage!
That’s what the next section of this article is about – horse dildos and where you can find them! All the products listed below are tested and are the best, says my really cool friends.
Some of The Best Horse Dildos One Can Find!
People out there have gotten really creative on what a dildo could look like. To give you the real feel, a horse dildo is not only huge but comes with a flared tip. It has a knot in the middle for the equine feel and of course, a horse dildo is larger than other dildos. Check out our other articles on different types of dildos to browse through some of the most super-looking dildos that also get the job done super fine. But for now, the most popular and absolutely recommended horse dildos:
Ben The Horse
Let’s start with the one that beginners can use. It has a unique tip – every horse dildo has a realistic flared tip – but due to being firm, the tip of this particular horse dildo does not bend away. The shape of the knot at the head is perfect for penetration. This is only 6 inches but then again, horse dildos might need some time to get used to. This is a great horse dildo, to begin with. Find it here.
Chance Unflared
Being a horse dildo from Bad Dragon it is highly customizable. The length can go from 8 inches to 17 inches. The shaft can be soft, firm, hard, or both. With its veins and the ridge, the texture is quite life-like. And ah, it comes with a cum-tube. Check it out here.
Theo The Pegasus
It’s a fantasy horse dildo with customizable colors! It comes in over 13 inches. It’s made from 100% body-safe platinum cure silicone is easy to clean and has a girth of 9 inches at the knot. Look at it here.
Dante the Draft Horse
This handmade horse dildo is relatively new. It has a length of 9 inches and was apparently 3D modeled just like a horse. Safe to you, fun to try, won’t you say? Get it here.
Tips on How to Use This Massive Horse Dildo!
Exercise, they said. Exercising makes you stronger, they said. The condition that I am in right now, I can’t get up when I sit down, I can’t sit down when I’m standing up. I have to walk like I am constipated. I might have gone a bit too crazy in the gym but trust me, you don’t want to stare in the mirror, shake your head and say, “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”.
Exercising works if you do it regularly – not like me, once every full moon. That’s the reason why I don’t write about squats – the bane of existence they are – I write about sex toys because that’s my forte. Just like regularity in exercising, there are rules when you’re using a dildo this massive,
- Firstly, lube. It might have been 7:30 in the morning but my friends listened well and asked me to drown myself in lube if I was to consider using a horse dildo.
- A horse dildo can be used simultaneously in the ass and the vagina. Try it out, but I should mention you’ll feel the pressure while penetrating to be extreme, some people like that sort of thing if they’re into it.
- Try going slow and be comfortable first. Allow your hole to open wide for a horse dildo before you can go all fast and furious on it. There’s fun in taking things slow, take it from me.
Frequently Asked Questions About Horse Dildos
I’ve pretty much covered all the necessary aspects concerned with a horse dildo, but there’s just this one question that keeps getting popped up every now and then,
What do I do if my horse dildo is too big?
There are a number of things you can do with a horse dildo that you think is too massive. It’s important to remember that you insert only the amount you’re comfortable with during penetration. You do not have to, not even try to penetrate yourself if you think there’s a line that’s being crossed. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If it hurts or is uncomfortable and if you’re bleeding, leave your hole alone.
Is a horse dildo safe?
Yes, a horse dildo is perfectly safe to use. Just make sure you’re using an adequate amount of lube and if you start hurting or bleeding – it’s possible to get carried away in passion – run to the doctor right then.
