What Being A Switch Is Actually Like

What Being A Switch Is Actually Like
Martin Moore
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In one of the articles I’d read about BDSM, it was mentioned that new practitioners of this lifestyle should try being both a submissive and a Dominant at least once. This helps them decide their future roles in this kink. It sounds like and really is, a great idea when you’re newly introduced into this world. But is a switch always someone who’s just stepping into the world of BDSM?

Even after a certain amount of time, some people prefer to not categorize themselves into one certain role. To be only a sub or only a Dom is not something they’d like to choose. So, do switches enjoy being both? Or is it that if you’re a switch, it’s only because you’re confused? And are you happy as a sub but also a Dom at the same time? If not, how do you compartmentalize?

There are tons of questions to be raised here. And this article more or less is here to help you figure out what it’s actually like to be a switch. You could be someone who enjoys both: to dominate and to be dominated. You could be someone who is sort of new and is wondering if choosing one particular role is the only way to go in BDSM.

Or you could be someone who is simply a happy-go-lucky person who doesn’t mind what happens either way. Whatever may the case be, it’s always interesting to know more about what goes on inside the minds of these kinksters. So after some extensive research, this article brings to you the juice on how and what to do when you’re keen on being a switch in BDSM!

The Basics Of Being A Switch

There are some fun ways to be a switch, I’ll make sure I list all of those ways here. But first, I’ll clarify a few of the questions that were raised in the introduction itself. Being a switch means you’re both a Dom and a sub, yes. And being a switch also means you get to decide when to be what. I told you it was fun, didn’t I?

Anyone who doesn’t really follow the BDSM lingo wouldn’t even know it if they were a switch. The range is broad. People who are just starting to enjoy themselves in this lifestyle don’t want to limit their options. At the same time, people who are comfortable with both being a sub or a Dom don’t want to settle for just one role. 

Being a switch can be rewarding to anyone who likes to explore their sexual kinks. BDSM is an entirely huge umbrella term. So, even if you’ve fantasized about any form of it you’re allowed to wonder if you’ll be leading that play or being told what to do…or both. Being a switch makes it more open for you to be your own self.

How common is being a switch?

You’d be surprised to know how many people don’t fall under just one spectrum of BDSM plays and fetishes. True, whenever a kink is being played out there needs to be one sub and one Dom. But there’s no written rule that the sub during that particular play is to be the sub for all plays. Mixing these roles up a bit is more common than you think!

There are certain participants who like to extend their plays. They embrace their roles as a sub or a Dom for longer periods of time. And therefore, it’s convenient for them to carry out each play with set roles. A sub, in that case, would remain a sub for a subsequent amount of plays. 

However, in the case where one partner is a switch, it would be more than possible to change the roles! Your desires around how the power dynamics would operate in bed might change and with it, so will your role! It not only allows experiments but a healthy bit of exploration for both partners! And just like being a Dom or a sub exclusively is valid, being a switch is also a valid lifestyle choice in the BDSM community.

How do I know I am a switch?

It’s on your mood. Really, it’s as simple as that. You have sex because you like it, or you dress up in a certain way because you like it. You carry yourself – inside and outside of the bedroom – the way you want to because it makes you feel good. Whether to be a Dom or a sub is simply a matter of mood, circumstances and a consensual partner.

You’ll know you’re a switch when you have no problems in the bedroom with a Dom or a sub. Often it happens, because a switch enjoys being both, they assume one particular role for a really long time. This happens when a switch is with a long-time partner. Although, even with a long-term partner the switch would know they’re a switch. 

A switch is aware that they’re being a Dom or a sub for their partners only. And if situations permit, they wouldn’t mind it if things were the other way around. To be perfectly honest, a switch is only like a label you might use to communicate with your partner about your position in the BDSM acts or plays. You might go through your entire life being neither a sub nor a Dom but wouldn’t mind being either – that’s also how you know you’re comfortable with being a switch.

The Psychology Of A Switch

What’s happening inside the head of a switch? Is it confusion or is it simply because they’re adventurous? Think of it this way: people change. It’s well and good to know what you like but isn’t that how the saying goes: variety is the spice of life? Your feelings, your desires, and your opinions change with time…so why not your wish to dominate or be dominated?

Forget the ‘either-or’ binary and enjoy the broad spectrum that being a switch brings with it. Long gone are the days when men and women were taught certain roles. So why think of switching as something that’s a means to find out what your ‘true’ role is? Switching for you might as well be the end of it if you’re comfortable with both the roles of power exploration in BDSM!

And not just mental health, but physical health along with your confidence, age, and even life experiences contribute to what you want to be at one particular point in time. So, being a switch is basically being a human who is normally adaptive to change under their circumstances. And there’s even an advantage to it! Think about it, how wonderful it is when your partner is an extremely exclusive sub and you’re okay with taking the reins into your hands entirely. 

You wouldn’t want to give up on a partner because your roles in BDSM clash, now would you? It’s a blessing to find a partner who’s in sync with you and is completely comfortable with you the way you are. Being a switch makes it easier for you to empathize with your partner’s needs. And if both of you are switches, well, that’s some interesting pairing going on right there!

The Key To Introducing Switching In Your Life

Yes, you’ll have a conservation about it and yes, you’ll tell your partner you’re this cool person who’s basically okay with anything they’re in the mood for. But when you’re having this conversation, two things are of vital importance to pay attention to: First, you have to be confident about being a switch; And second, you have to give your partner time to process the information. 

Many people, when they’re introducing a new kink in a relationship, tend to be a bit apologetic about it. Especially with kinks that are a bit out of the box – or honestly, with any kink at all – people think they need to be hemming or hawing when talking about it. Well, that’s the first thing you’ve got to change. 

Being a switch is all about being confident in your choices. Embrace the fact that you like experimenting and tell your partner confidently what you’re willing to try. It’s not always about you adjusting because of their needs or roles. At times, even you want to be dominant or submissive, depending on your mood. If your partner knows you’re a switch, they’ll be open to changing the roles with you. 

The next most important thing is to understand your partner might need some time to think about what you’ve told them. This time also allows them to realize if they’re okay with the switching. If they’re exclusively a Dom or a sub, it might be harder for them to ease into the switching lifestyle. And you have to, in that case, communicate with your partner to work out the best possible way.

The key is always communication. I mean, yeah you’d be fine to be a sub or a Dom for your partner but hey, at times you want to shake things up via a change. That is literally what being a switch is about! So know that you also have an option to go one step ahead and ask for things that work best for you. Consider an open relationship, just for the purpose of switching, for example. 

This way, you can keep exploring without having to compromise. And know that your partner may need some time to adjust to a new lifestyle – you must respect that. It’s completely normal to want to switch. So, make sure your partner knows what you want and is okay with going through the bits that satisfy both of you.

Switching For The First Time? Read This!

So, you’ve read the entire article and made it down here. Now, you want to try being a switch because it sounds interesting, so why not? So get this, you don’t really choose to be a switch. If you are a switch, you simply just are a switch. If the notion of switching even remotely appeals to you, you’re a switch.

Believe me on this, but there are people who would never consider being both a sub or a Dom. Some of my friends, for example, when they hear the word ‘rope’ either imagine being tied up or tying up someone else. When you’re a switch you get turned on by imaging the multiple options that come with the idea of a rope. 

The sexual aspect of BDSM aside, the best way of practicing to be a switch is to incorporate it into your daily life slowly. Gradually, switch things up! Before thinking of whips and chains, think of dirty talk. A Dom can rave on about how they’ll ravage their sub and so can you – that’s telling your partner what you want to do to them. But then again, you can also tell your partner what you’d like them to do to you. 

This way, you’re switching the roles with dirty talk and initiating switching into your relationship. Starting small can be great, so similarly, find out what switching means to you. Find out your unique sexual desire through dirty talk, little plays, or even sex toys. This way you’ll know how many ways you can indulge in it. And then try all of those ways once how the sub and one how the Dom would engage in it.

To Conclude…

It’s your body, so you have the final say. And it’s the same with your partner. The switch who’s comfortable going opposite to their partner’s role has no problem with his own. But like a switch who likes to switch on how their own mood is, they need to consider their partner’s wishes also.

That said, if switching is for you then embrace it. Talk to your partner and tell them how excited you are about this unique state of yours. Do some research together and who knows, maybe you’ll both end up loving your BDSM switch sessions!

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