- What's The Little Space?
- What Happens In Little Space?
- Terminologies And Dynamics Of Ageplay
- It's Not a Form of Therapy
This morning I sat down to write a long, insightful article. But I failed, because what was I even remotely thinking? For a person like me who stays up at night like an owl to search about kinks and fetishes, daylight just wasn’t cutting it. I had to sit down straight and read through my yawns. Good thing ageplay is so interesting. Otherwise, I would be drooling on the table.
Now, there’s already a pretty packed article about DDLG (Daddy Dom Little Girl) around here somewhere on this website. DDLG is one particular type of ageplay. Writing that article prompted me to research other kinks. And why not? I’ve got a pretty solid control group to get first-hand knowledge from – my friends, actually.
And I’m a sex enthusiast – meaning I have a tendency to read whatever article I can find even remotely related to what I’m looking for on the internet. I mean, I looked at age play this morning and somehow found myself on a talk about diaper lovers and bed wetters. People at times stalk their exes, I stalk Wikipedia writers. Anyway, more on this branch of age play later.
So, this article is also going to be pretty packed as well. So buckle up, it’s time to get inside the little space.
What’s The Little Space?
Little Space is like that space where I get to when I have to do 12-15 chores by the next day and I haven’t even started…only better. Me going to my space or zone or whatever involves removing every distraction there is and just diving in – I’m looking at you, Instagram (rather, I’m not looking, hmn) – and a person going into their little space involves leaving all adult responsibilities behind.
It’s in the name, really. In ageplay, little space is that state of mind where a person goes, in their mind, to become a certain age. They behave how they would have if they were that particular age – younger (mostly) or older. This person, who is a consenting adult, wants to be or becomes or roleplays the age of a smaller person. An adult goes to their little space. There are no actual children involved.
Similarly, another person (the daddy or mommy) who is with the little or the middle (I’m getting to the terms, give me a minute) is themself also a consenting adult. It is necessary to talk about this right here because of the criticism and backlash that age play gets at times. It’s crucial you keep in mind that these people are adults.
Is The Little Space Sexual or Not?
Another crucial detail to keep in mind is that ageplay can or cannot be sexual. Ageplay is mostly about caregiving. Sex does not necessarily have to be a part of it. A person goes into the little space to behave how they’d like to. There could be games or activities or talking in a certain child-like way. Sex only comes into the picture if these adults want it to.
I personally know people who go into their little space to just chill. They have sex after they’re done with babbling a bit about their barbie dolls. Don’t take this in any wrong way possible, but when I was a kid I, with my friends, was a part of a Barbie beauty pageant at least twice a week. I myself wouldn’t mind going back to those simple days when I, as a self-important judge, decided which Barbie won the plastic crown.
Because age play is between two partners they simply have sex. Partners or members usually talk to each other about what they want. It’s not ‘go with the flow’ with these fetishes. You cannot bring sex into age play before clearing it out with your partner. Imagine her, vulnerable and in her little space, wanting to be loved and cared for like a child and you advance sexually, albeit unknowingly. The results would not be good – this means possibly traumatic.
How to Bring Sex Into Ageplay?
If you want to bring the sexual factor into ageplay, talk to your partner. Chances are they want it too, but after they’re done watching the cartoons they like or finishing their pencil sketch. Baby talk while sex can be used to merge the little space and the sexual space. The bottom line is, you’re not attracted to kids, right? Right. Your partner isn’t a kid either – they just want to behave like one for a while…so you let them.
You also like to be the caregiver, so be the caregiver. Once both of you are clear about your roles – hey, you’re both adults and you both might want to be a little or a middle. (Okay, if little is a child, the middle is a teenager, more in this later, bear with me.) So once you’ve decided what age you want to roleplay, talk about if you want to have sex while you’re roleplaying or not.
People interested in ageplay have specific things which they want to partake in while in the little space. Once that is accomplished, sex is most definitely on the table between two partners if both of them agree. The only thing is to be open and honest about what you want and sex can be introduced while you’re in the little space itself!
What Happens In Little Space?
Well, I just talked a whole lot about it but since you’re a curious reader I’ll spell it out in clearer terms. What you know up until now is that when an adult goes into the ‘little space’, they’re roleplaying being a certain age – mostly younger than their own age. What else you know is this aspect of ageplay can either be sexual or not – we’re all adults here, people.
Now, what exactly happens in the little space? An adult can just become naive, playful, and simply young. The stress and the responsibilities are far behind you when you’re in this headspace. You want to behave like a teenager who only listens to music all day and is bratty towards all the adults around? Good, do it. In the real world, you’d probably be yelled at and called immature, irresponsible and simply crazy. Well, not here my friend.
Here your daddy or mommy will treat you with love. You’ll be a pampered brat, that’s what, for as long as you and your partner have decided to ageplay. Forget a bratty teenager – because all of us were one once and who wants to go relive that? Not me that’s who – and go back to the golden age of preteens. When you were 11 or 12 all you – or I, at least – wanted was to grow up. Well, now we have grown up and it’s not always fun.
When you’re age playing and are a little, you can go back to skipping steps, painting, or simply doing just whatever it is that gives you joy. That’s the fun in being a consenting adult though, you can revert back to being a child for some time. Your partner in this case will be the caregiver or the older person in the relationship and will make sure you’re fed, safe, and out of any trouble.
Punishments, among other things.
A child needs to be both loved and punished and we know it. When age playing, littles or middles can also be punished by their daddy or mommy if they’re being naughty. Partners also discuss the punishments that might be involved. For a fetish that’s so fun, there sure is a lot of discussions involved.
Well, you can talk about these things to let your partner know what’s allowed and what’s not. No one is asking you to script these things…unless you’re into that. So let’s say you say your partner is allowed to spank you, so they do. You don’t tell them when they’re allowed to – it’s up to the adult to decide when to inflict punishment on the little.
Ageplay, even though an offshoot of BDSM is different from the other dominant-submissive relationships. A little is extremely vulnerable when in the little space, so the daddy or the Mommy must realize that the primary function for them is to provide care, support and at times, affection. Although the bratty teenager middle or the fussy little might need to be punished from time to time.
The Terminologies And The Dynamics Of AgePlay
You already know who the little (from a toddler to pre-teens) or the middle (teen) is. Besides, there’s a Daddy Dom or a Mommy Dom (they’re called the Bigs) for every little girl or little boy. I have talked about the terminologies at length in that other article about DDLG. But let’s cover some more terms here along with the relationship dynamics of ageplay.
- Middle Space: Like the little space, middle space is the headspace of a teenager (middle). When not in this headspace, you don’t want to be rude or demanding – I know I have to remind myself to be nice every other day here – but when you’re in the middle space, go on and ask for a big mac and throw a fit because no one cares about what you want. Go for it and see if your mommy or daddy coaxes you or takes the whip out. Also, sexual adventures are more welcomed in the middle space.
- Adult Babies (ABDL): Remember how at the beginning of the article I said something about diapers? Well this is it. Adult baby age play might include not talking at all. Non verbal communications and trappings of a baby are a big part of it…and so are diapers (DL is basically Diaper Lovers). As a prop, all items that a baby might need – cribs, bottles, toys…you name it – everything is involved in this play. If you find this particular play interesting and want to know a bit more about it, read this up a bit!
Now that we’re more or less up to date with the terminologies, let’s talk about the age play relationship dynamics. Daddy/Mommy Dom – Little Girl/Boy is just one age okay dynamic, albeit the most popular one. Another interesting dynamic would be the Caregiver/Little (CG/I) dynamic. This is basically an adult taking care of a little regardless of what gender they identify with.
Then there’s the Babysitter/Little dynamic, the Teacher/Student, or the Doctor/Patient ageplay. The Nurse/Senior Citizen ageplay is also something that includes pretending you’re older or younger than your real age.
Also, please understand that age play is not being attracted to people of a certain age – this attraction isn’t age-based. Although you, being 24, might as well be attracted to someone who’s 40 but that’s not ageplay. That is just being attracted to someone older than you or belonging to a different age demographic.
And Finally, Ageplay Should Not Substitute Therapy
I found a lot of questions online that bordered on why would someone consider roleplaying a different age. The answers ranged from being open to accepting to harsh and critical. Whatever may be the reason, what two adults do is between them – given they have both consented to it. Also, if there’s no harm done, then there’s no harm done…
…and this is where the catch is. By harm I also mean self-harm. It’s all well and good to dress up cute and cuddle in the arms of a parent-like figure, but not at the expense of escapism. Escaping reality for some time because you’re just done being an adult for a day is quite okay – I am seriously considering doing it as well – but not if this is the only thing that makes life bearable for you.
The foremost rule of ageplay is you remember you’re roleplaying. You aren’t yourself and aren’t attracted to children – pedophilia is not a joke. If you find yourself getting confused between what’s real and what’s not, it’s time to visit a medical professional who can help work through your issues.
Or you may be substituting a lost parent, or one or both neglecting parents, or maybe you didn’t even realize you had a terrible childhood until it was too late – PTSD is real. In that case, also, seek help and therapy from a licensed therapist.
Ageplay can be a lot of fun because hey, who doesn’t want to be cute and cuddled to sleep? There sure are some therapeutic benefits of trying to understand your inner psyche this way. But don’t let ageplay be the only method which you use to work through your trauma or issues.