You know how some people jump off cliffs and go swimming in deep freezing waters? There’s both a physical and a mental challenge to it. I was wondering why they do it. Is it just for the thrills that people walk on the edge? Why else would someone trek for 8 hours to climb a mountain if not to chase a thrill? Or to ask, why would a person let someone use a cane on them till they’re all red and bloody?
Some people do like to live on the edge, I suppose, but edge play comes with its own fascinating challenges, for sure. It’s the adrenaline, maybe. Or maybe those edge play lovers just like the pain. The feeling that you get once you successfully go through something that you thought you could never have… nothing beats that. There’s a lot of good hormones involved here – even when you’ve pushed yourself way past the limits.
Edge play, like the name suggests, is risky. It is one of the more advanced BDSM plays. This play is obviously consensual, but one has to accept the risks in this lifestyle. This play falls under the category RACK or Risk Aware Consensual Kink. That’s why it’s necessary to be aware of what it is and keep yourself informed when it comes to engaging in edge play.
So, of course, you’d need to know what you’re getting yourself into, how you’d like to do it, and have a clear discussion with your partner about it to stay safe. But before all that, read up on this article to know all you can about edge play.
What is Edge Play?
Edge play is extremely subjective to its participants but it usually involves some kind of extreme treatment of the body or mind. You can create your own definition of this BDSM play – some people might think asphyxiation is extreme for them while others think spanking too hard is going over the edge. A red butt can be a serious deal to some people, you know? So technically, the users decide what’s on the edge. And therein lies the beauty of edge play!
There is obviously a dominant and a submissive involved. And with it is involved either physical or even mental manipulation. The dominant will assume a central position while the submissive will have to be the subordinate. Whatever play you choose to engage in – and we’ll discuss in detail some of the most popular edge plays in the later section – the submissive will have to endure the risks of it.
Edge play often borders on the boundaries of safe, sane and consensual (SSC) schemes and definitely challenges conventionality to its core. This is why the submissive must be willing to engage in any of the edge plays – there should not be any force or coercion. Edge play can be risky so learn the risks and don’t let anyone just talk you into it. Making decisions yourself will help you avoid trauma and any kind of serious physical harm.
This BDSM play is subjective, so it often suits its participants well. You will decide what to do or what to avoid. But it would be wise to remember that some plays come with their own set of rules – subjective or otherwise.
The Most Popular Edge Plays
As I said, edge play can be both thrilling as well as dangerous. So before you decide to take up the role of a Dom or a Sub and jump at it, do acquaint yourself with some of these plays you could engage in:
This is nothing but two fancy words for breath play. There’s an entire article about breath play here if you want to check it out in detail. But to brief you, when a Dom restricts or cuts off the Sub’s supply of air to breathe, that’s breath play. This is usually done with masks, face covers, or even pillows!
There are various personal reasons as to why anyone would want to engage in breath play. One of them would be that the limited supply of oxygen to the brain causes light-headedness, causing the release of certain hormones that give the body a much-needed kick. And great orgasms apparently, so that as well. Another reason might just be that people are kinky.
This is an extremely interesting play as fear play needs the participants to be vulnerable at two deep levels: first, they need to open up about their fears in front of a partner, and second, they need to face this fear.
People engage in an edge play like the fear play because they want to get past whatever is holding them back. Many participants who are afraid of water night want to consider engaging in a BDSM Dom-Sub encounter in front of a pool. The kinkier participants, who are afraid of objects or animals – a sharp knife, spiders, or even a snake – consider bringing these elements when engaging in edge play.
Apart from getting past their fears, the encounter is overly thrilling and at times, sexually arousing. As you can imagine, the heart never stops beating fast. And if you decide to bring the sexual element into edge play, you get to train your mind to remove it past the fears and focus on the pleasure.
This is an extremely common sexual edge play. This is light BDSM at its pinnacle. The risk with knife or gun play is that you can always get hurt…but it’s never the intention to actually hurt your partner.
In this amusingly unusual play, it isn’t always the Dom who wields the weapon. Many Doms have been known to ask a sub to point the gun or the knife at them. Knife play necessitates the use of knives, daggers, or even swords – if you are seriously into this.
This edge play is relatively safer if you keep the safety latch of the gun on or use a mostly blunt knife. But the pros have a tendency to play with the risks, along with Russian roulette.
Fire Play is nothing but taking temperature play to the next level. Temperature play is when you heat up your sex toys, or cool them, and use them. Fire play, as you can guess, involves no cooling down.
Now, you don’t just light a fire and dance around it – this isn’t Midsommar, people – but use fire in the forms of candles or incense sticks, even. A lighter is the go to for fire edge players but feel free to use whatever you’re intrigued by.
You bring the flames really close to your skin – sanitizers, alcohol, hair spray, everything counts – and you risk burning. Many people tend to get creative with flaming floggers or flaming gloves as well. It sounds quite dramatic but with proper tools, fuels and safety guidelines, fire play can be quite satisfying.
When you involve candles, you can either engage in fire play or wax play. Fire play involves none to minimal contact with skin, but wax play teaches you to embrace pain by pouring hot wax into your body.
Wax play is probably one of the safest edge plays out there. I mean, women get their hands and legs waxed all the time. So it’s not all that dangerous. Unless you’re burning yourself accidentally. But if you stay sober and in your senses, chances are you’ll really enjoy this.
I mean, I remember as a kid I would voluntarily dip my fingers into hot wax. Whenever I saw a candle burning, I’d touch the hot melted wax and let it coat my fingers. I’m not making this up, you know? I loved watching my fingerprints imprinted on the wax which fell over after it had cooled and hardened a bit.
I was only twelve but willing to bear the pain because of my fascination with the shapes that I could see on the wax after it had cooled down. People who engage in wax play might have similar fascinations.
There’s a LOT More
These are only a few examples of edge plays. The subjective nature of this BDSM play allows you to come up with your own ideas! I can, as a former finger dipper in hot wax, understand why anyone would want to engage in extreme edge plays to some extent.
This is how you’ll know what you’re interested in. Some day you’ll just come upon it, either by accident or by exploration. But keep in mind that you should want to be a part of edge play and not just be doing it for a partner or just for the sake of it.
The Risks And Safety Issues Concerned With Edge Play
The first and foremost thing to remember is that edge play is never one hundred percent safe. There are always health and safety issues connected to it. I mean come on people, fire, guns, wax? You must be really into it or extremely curious about trying out new things to truly enjoy it.
Sit and identify your reasons. People don’t just engage in edge plays because they’re bored on a Sunday morning. After deciding what truly intrigues you, you must talk about it with your partner. This is where you decide on a safe word or a safe gesture and work out the other safety guidelines.
Your partner must be trustworthy and someone who also enjoys engaging in the edge plays with you. Some edge plays might be considered a taboo, so they’re to be dealt with delicacy. Sado-masochism and age play, to some extent, are also edge plays and being as subject as they are, would need some charting before you embark on to the bed with it.
The Possible Risks Involved in Edge Play
There have been deaths, I won’t lie. Breath play itself can be so dangerous. Both the short-term and the long-term effects of edge play can leave both you and your partner reeling – and not in a good way. There are different types of risks with different and particular types of edge plays. Tantalizing your partner with a sharp knife can result in a deep cut. Similarly, letting your partner pass out during breath play can lead to then being mentally deranged.
Some most common risks are bleeding, scarring, and possibly trauma – even when you’re taking all the possible precautions. Wanting to experiment with something new is okay and completely acceptable, but also know your limits to decide when to stop. If you factor the risks and use the safe word on time, only then edge play can be fun.
Edge Play Can Bring Spice Into Your Sex Life!
Believe it or not, BDSM isn’t all about sex. Yes, there is intrigue and sexy outfits and a lot of oohs and aahs involved, but BDSM is a way of living altogether. Involving the sexual element in it is a completely personal choice – you wouldn’t want to force yourself on your partner when they’re in their little space, would you now? (Find out more about the little space in our article on age play!)
Some people go extreme and embrace this way of living – and this reflects in their everyday life. But you and I don’t own a closet full of leather apparel, I’m assuming. So what we’ll do is use the BDSM plays to spice up our sex life! As sexual people with a partner, some light BDSM, or extreme – it’s totally up to you – can change the complete dynamic in the bedroom!
Everyone has one kink or the other that they like, you can find yours as well…just by some light exploration and experimenting! Keep things fresh and keep communication open with your partner – this way you constantly keep witnessing a new side of them!
You don’t have to buy a flame thrower but how about after discussing some common ground rules, you light a candle and engage in some light fire play of your own? Or design a kink around a sex toy! Or maybe roleplay when you both have the wish to be with a different version of you! Sex is good, but kinky sex is just so much better!