- Isn't Cuckolding Erotic Humiliation
- Psychology Of Erotic Humiliation
- How Is It Done?
- Choosing A Partner
- Additional Tips
I’m currently sitting near the window on a train and typing this on the phone on my notes app. And this is because I’m way too excited to wait, go home and write this down on my laptop. Some things are pretty pressing that way. What I mean to say is, I just made the most amusing discovery! For a long time, I used to think cuckolding is the only play one can engage in for erotic humiliation…but boy oh boy was I wrong.
This all started with me meandering here and there on Wikipedia. I had started on one page and suddenly found myself looking at a photograph that aroused my attention. This particular NSFW photograph – (I wouldn’t recommend clicking on that link sitting on a train, let alone in your workplace. Not everyone commutes in an empty train as I do, hence the warning.) – shows a man on all fours (knees and palms).
This man is holding a purse with his mouth while a woman, possibly a dominatrix, is behind him. She is clearly in charge here but what was most amusing about this picture was there were people all around them, watching. On top of that, they were photographed on top of a stage. A few more clicks led me to a website and I found myself reading about the fascinating world of erotic humiliation…
…But First, Isn’t Cuckolding Erotic Humiliation?
Cuckolding has been something that I’ve understood and written about. Cuckolding is also erotic humiliation at a primal and basic level. But engaging in this kind of play is a different ball game altogether. There particularly isn’t always a third person involved – like there is in cuckolding – except the dominant and the submissive. Although the fun is in the process of it all.
As I kept reading I realized this is a completely different kind of erotic humiliation. This also, similar to cuckolding, involves humiliating the submissive. And this also turns the submissive on – hence the erotic part of it all. But the difference lies in the way it is carried out. The matter of consent also becomes extremely important in this aspect. And so does the matter of choosing the proper partner/dominant/submissive.
This is what this article will discuss – erotic humiliation and how it works! I’ve put together everything I know, plus more as I have researched and asked around to know more and more! If you’re considering dwelling on the issues of…why would someone want to put on a stage show while being flogged? And enjoy it himself or herself as well…you must read on. This will definitely help you to gain some insight into these kinky and interesting minds!
The Psychology Of Erotic Humiliation
Consent has a major role to play here. To understand the psychology of someone who enjoys a BDSM play such as this, you’ll have to understand the fact that they want to be a part of this. Erotic excitement and sexual arousal are brought forth through humiliation – and that humiliation doesn’t always have to be inflicted physically.
You can use your nasty words to excite someone. Look at it this way, when you use your words, you’re totally using the tongue to arouse someone…but without even touching them. The mouth can play a huge part in erotic humiliation. When you’re sexually aroused and in bed, biting someone is well within the range of this play!
Now, another aspect to think about concerning this play is that it goes both ways. A submissive might love it when they’re being called filthy in front of a group. But at the same time, it might as well be the dominant who likes to be insulted or humiliated. This can be done well outside the bedroom as well, without including the sexual aspect into it.
You might be aroused but you don’t have to find the final release – this just adds to the sweet torture. Wouldn’t you agree? Also, erotic humiliation is also when instead of you being humiliated, you’re humiliating someone else. This way, it can get a bit complicated at times. And this imparting of humiliation can also take the form of borderline bullying if both the partners haven’t consented to it, but I’ll talk about more on that later.
So, to suffice things up for you a bit: Erotic humiliation is when a Dom or a sub humiliates the other. Or when a Dom or a sub is humiliated themselves. And always remember, everything happens after a well and thought out discussion and with consent.
Terminologies: The Top And The Bottom
As with many BDSM plays, there are some terms exclusive to erotic humiliation. The bottom and the top are two of the major terms one needs to be acquainted with here. There’s also something like the bottom space – if you’ve read the article about DDLG or Ageplay, you’re already acquainted with Little Space and know what it is – this is somehow similar. But first,
Who is the Top?
Well, the Top is usually the dominant person who demeans the sub or humiliates them in private or public. If the Top is a female, she is called a humiliatrix. This isn’t really a position though, the top isn’t at the top of another person or anything like that – it’s just basic BDSM lingo.
I saw another picture online where a bottom was publicly licking the boots of a Top. Therefore, know that when you’re a Top, you’re entitled to – within safe limits – order your bottom to any degrading activity as well. Humiliation can come either verbally, that’s extreme dirty talk, or demeaning the sub, as well as physically.
Making a sub lick your boots clean in the middle of the road in broad daylight is demeaning them physically and publicly. And it is completely allowed. But also, just like any other BDSM play, erotic humiliation also comes with a set of safe words and safe gestures to help prevent the crossing of any lines.
The bottom and the bottom space.
The bottom, or often referred to as the slave, is the person being humiliated. This term is used irrespective of the gender of the submissive. The bottom prefers to be spoken to or acted upon in a degrading manner. This is done to reach the bottom space.
The bottom space is a submissive state of mind where the bottom goes into the mentality of the slave. A bottom is allowed to lose themself in this state if they wish to do so. Doing so would allow them to obey the Top completely.
The bottom space is desired also for emotional release. The freeing feeling of completely submitting themselves to the whims, wishes and commands of someone else is what the bottom space provides to the bottom.
How Is It Done?
This imparting of humiliation or demeaning of the other person can be private as well as public. It all depends on how far you want to take this play. The trick is to always start small and keep going bigger and bigger till you think that’s enough now… but if someone can be on all fours with a purse dangling from his mouth and be excited about it, you have much to go ahead of you.
Private erotic humiliation is limited to the four walls of a bedroom. Although publicly, it can be in front of both a live or an online audience. There are webcam viewers, pornography channel subscribers and even your old and handy video camera that can capture you engaging in erotic humiliation with a partner. You can make a tape, with consent from both the partners, and what you do with that tape is completely up to you now!
The sexual aspect of erotic humiliation can be really fun!
Erotic humiliation can also be accompanied by other sexual or non-sexual BDSM plays. It’s sort of encouraged to mix and match everything to see what goes best with what. Erotic humiliation goes fantastically with roleplay! What’s more intriguing than a master, or a mistress perhaps, not liking what she was served at dinner and taking it out on the poor servant?
Because you get aroused – and you must get aroused because that’s what the whole fetish is about. You like to be demeaned…it turns you on. Humiliation both makes you shaky and excites you! That’s how you know you like it. So, as you’re aroused you can also combine this play with sexual stimulation. Stimulate your genitals while someone is calling you a good-for-nothing slut.
Sorry if that was somewhat shockingly rude, but that’s the kind of talk that should get you going if you’re into this whole thing. And you know what? Most people absolutely love this kind of dirty, some would say almost borderline vulgar, talk! This humiliation itself is the stimulation of the mind of these kinksters. Combine it with stimulation of the erogenous zones of the body and you get to climax in the best possible way – pleased both in the mind and body.
You can also turn to the phone or try out this play online! Apart from having a sexual and a non-sexual side of erotic humiliation, there’s also the self-pleasing factor. You can choose to be the bottom or the top – whatever suits you – and turn to the phone to either follow commands or give them to your slave! This humiliation can then be combined with self-pleasing masturbation on both ends. This type of erotic humiliation can be carried out extremely easily long distance!
Choosing A Partner For Erotic Humiliation
Erotic humiliation, even though might seem like it, isn’t really as simply operated as a dominant-submissive relationship. A submissive knows the Dom is their, sort of, master and everything that’s asked of the sub is within the rights of the Dom. A sub can use a safe word when feels the need for it and the play or the ‘scene’ can immediately stop.
A bottom, on the other hand, is far more vulnerable than a sub. Because the factor of humiliation is involved, crossing a line can often traumatize the bottom. It is a very sensitive play and can be taken up as an edge play as well. Although there’s hardly any bodily harm involved in erotic humiliation, the damage it can cause to the mental health of its participants is very real.
Choosing a partner, after deciding on a safe word, is of utmost importance here. Especially when you decide to embark on erotic humiliation on a public level, your partner must know and understand you. You should sit and discuss what’s on the table and what’s off-limits.
Discuss props with your partner:
A dog collar, a leash, some light bondage gear or leather apparels – which ones do you like and which ones do you not? Let your partner know what can be used with you and what should never be used to ambush you with.
Talk about what plays you want to indulge in together:
Erotic humiliation might include animal play. This includes the Top referring to the bottom as their pet or any other animal. Similarly, making you eat from a bowl or a dish is also a part of this play. Talk to your partner about which plays you want to indulge in and which play you’re not interested in.
After you’ve decided on the means of erotic humiliation, you will have to assess the means of objectification – your Top calling you an object, a thing, or simply a hole – how does that make you feel?
Dealing with belittlement – your Top giving you nicknames like missy or piggy – should also be on your agenda to be discussed. There will also be insults involved – words like disgusting, worthless, ugly, or loser might be used – my tip would be to try out each one of them in private and see how they make you feel before going public with it.
Other than this, make sure your partner understands your needs. There’s a reason erotic humiliation appeals to you, make your partner understand these reasons. Moreover, never engage or let your partner engage in something they’re not completely comfortable with – this is for the well-being of both your mental and physical health.