We’ve heard a lot about how penetration isn’t just enough to make a lady come. But what if I told you, you could make your partner scream with joy and orgasm without penetration at all? If it sounds unbelievable to you, this article is for your eyes! Starting from knowing how to use your fingers in the best possible way to mastering a rim job, this article says it all! Come on then, it’s time to learn some tricks of the love trade.
We are all familiar with some of the basics of foreplay – blowjobs and handjobs for men, fingering and licking for women. Okay, licking the sexual organs and sucking on them can go both ways. But are these enough to curl those toes and bring on the big O? Hold your horses, I’m not asking you to go back to those times when sex meant a cis couple with a penis and a vagina having intercourse.
I mean, that is the representation most of us grew up being familiar with. With my questions above, I’m not hinting at you to accept that old notion and think that only sex with penetration can be a pleasure. I’m challenging that very concept and asking you to read up on ways couples – all kinds and types of couples, that is – can enjoy and attain orgasms without penetration.
Of course, there can be penetration if the two (or three?) want it but let’s not make that the Hail Mary of sex. So in this article, I’ll talk about everything else you can do before the penetration – hey, this is how you attain multiple orgasms! Or remove sexual penetration altogether from the picture. This article will also talk about different types of orgasms…because there’s just so much more to know about our bodies!
Orgasms: What Are They And The Types
Do any of you remember that scene from Desperate Housewives where Bree has an orgasm? She didn’t even know what it was and told the medical personnel she might have had a stroke. Yes, there are people out there who don’t know what an orgasm is. Or who think they know what an orgasm is but actually don’t. And yes, there are plenty of these people here.
So, to put it in simple terms, orgasms are pleasurable releases of all that built up sexual tension in your body. And if you go by what Bree here is saying, they can also feel like having a stroke…but in a good way. Also, orgasms can be more than one type. We all know about the vaginal kind – and the orgasms men have via the release of their semen, the penis kind – oh, and the anal kind (of course).
Some know about clitoral orgasms – because yes, only penetration just doesn’t do it – but did you know our bodies are also capable of having erogenous orgasms and combo orgasms? Yeah, they were news to me as well when I first sat down to research this. So let’s talk more about these two other kinds of orgasms…and in the later sections, we’ll know how to attain one or two, or all of them.
- Blended (Combo) Orgasm: This one comes with its own tremors and trembles. A blended orgasm is when both the vagina and the clitoris are stimulated. This can be attained by the use of tongue, hands, or our very own and reliable sex toys. Sometimes, long build-ups or edging yourself to attain the release through some great foreplay for some time can also lead to a convulsive blended orgasm. You can actually feel the tremors in your body or see your legs trembling when you get your release!
- Erogenous Orgasms: This is attained through contact with non-sexual but erogenous parts of the body. Let’s say the neck or the eyes or even the ears. Sometimes even the elbows and the knees can lead up to a pleasurable release if kissed, caressed, and played with! You can explore the erogenous parts of your body leisurely.
Through experimentation and the introduction of sex toys – did you know some vibrators double up as massagers for the very purpose of providing an erogenous orgasm? – you can master this one yourself in no time! The trick is to use your lips and hands to touch and find which part of your body provides you with the most pleasure.
Master Orgasms Without Penetration
There are a lot of reasons why someone wouldn’t want to have sexual intercourse. Starting from wanting to try something new to having to avoid penetration due to cuts or injuries, the reasons are many. And even if there are no pressing reasons, why should there always be a need for penetration?
One of the best things about getting intimate with someone is getting to know their body, getting to know what they like, and forming a bond with them. The intimacy comes in many ways, exploring your partner’s and your own needs and desires being the chief of them. Focus on pleasure in a blend of different parts of the anatomy.
Of course, don’t put penetration off the table completely if you don’t want to, but try these out as well because as Barney Stinson says, new is always better. New techniques are also always better, in bed or otherwise.
We will just get the basics out first, okay? I’m not including fingering i this list, because that’s penetration with fingers, but oral sex can act as a mind-blowing replacement for that. You don’t even have to go hard if your partner, with a vulva, is dealing with any kind of injury. Soft, tantalizing licks will get the job done just right. Here is this article on how to eat pussy if you’re interested in the more elaborate steps.
You can use your fingers as well, to rub the clitoris and caress your partner in other areas in different ways while you’re using your tongue down there. You have to understand that orgasms without penetration almost always will take you to a blended release. So you’ll have to do your part and pay attention to each and every part of the body with everything you’ve got.
I know this article is mostly to learn how to make a person with a vagina cum, but oral sex works wonders for males as well. Technically, males usually need penetration to orgasm – when the penis enters a mouth, it’s penetrating it. Licking and sucking might feel wonderful but usually, a bit of penetration is needed to get a man off. It’s the tightness that comes with something closing around the penis, actually.
This one is fun and makes you feel young, trust me. Making out and leading up to the sex is one thing, deciding to not have penetrative sex at all and teasing each other with dry humping is on another level altogether. You can set the mood, buy each other chocolates, even get partially naked…just make sure there is something separating your sexual organs from each other.
The purpose is to not penetrate the sexual organs. You can do everything else, starting from a steamy foreplay session to taking it a notch up with dirty talk. Dry humping is a different kind of fun altogether, and it is perfect if you’re not looking for any sexual or penetrative contact between you and your partner.
There are a few safety tips to consider, like paying attention to the type of fabric you’re wearing and keeping some tissues aside to use after your intimate session. It’s important to be up to date about these issues if you’re considering engaging in dry humping. So here, refer to this if you want to find out more about it!
Yeah, this isn’t for everyone, I know. But guess what, BDSM does not always have to be hardcore. And BDSM almost always has nothing to do with penetrative sex but the kinks and fetishes that surround it. Yeah, sex is a part of it but people get off by what they’re doing even outside the whole sexual angle.
What I’m trying to say is, find out what fetishes you have in common with your partner, talk to each other about boundaries – have a safe word – and indulge in them! BDSM, light or otherwise, is a great way to attain an orgasm…sometimes even without having the traditional kind of sex!
Pay Attention To The Back As Well…
I’ve saved the best one for the last and this one needs a section of its own: try giving a rim job. For people who have experienced this, you know what I’m talking about. For people who have never experienced this, it’s time to learn what you’ve been missing. Take my partner, for example, she didn’t even like the idea of anything to do with the ass. That changed with time alright.
Because I’ve had a stable partner for some time now, I didn’t really rush her. That’s literally the first thing to learn when you want to try new things. You can’t force someone into liking your kinks. Even when my partner and I had just started dating I never really forced her into anything. I did let her know I wanted to try anal with her, among other things and when she declined I respected it.
With time, because our bond grew and both of us had explored many other fetishes together, we got out a bottle of lube one night and I tried inserting a finger inside her anus. Well, I know I said this article isn’t about penetration so I won’t go into details of anal penetration either. But rim jobs are also something that you can enjoy, even when you don’t want any kind of penetration up your butt.
To begin with, make sure you and your partner are ready with consent. Then make sure you’re clean. Both your mouth and your partner’s anal cavity must be clean. Rim job isn’t just for coprophiliacs, that’s a misconception you should remove from your mind. Many non-scat fetishers also enjoy giving and getting a good rim job.
Now, start by licking the butthole. You can stimulate the anal cavity with sucking and licking it and you’ll see it dilating and opening up. It also depends on how comfortable you are giving a rim job. Personally, I like how much my partner likes it so I can go as long as she wants me to. Inserting your tongue inside the anal cavity, if you’re into just a bit of penetration, also is a good idea.
Rim jobs are usually a gateway to anal sex. But a good rim job coupled with vibrators just near the opening of the anus can lead to wonders. Try double stimulation, both anal and vaginal and that will most definitely get the job done – here’s your big O. Although, rim jobs aren’t messy but be prepared for some release of gas.
At times, when the anal cavity expands the vagina can release some gas as well. That, at times, happens during penetration also. Don’t worry, this is only a sign that your partner and their body are enjoying what you’re doing to it. You can read up a bit more about rim jobs here if you want to consider it.
There are several ways to make your partner orgasm without penetration. When you’re someone with a penis, a nice and good blowjob or some great stimulation with a good sex toy can get the job done. With women, there’s a vast window of innovations to come up with!
Explore and establish your own ways of mixing and matching the activities mentioned above to make sure your partner is always happy with her sexcapades with you…with or without sexual penetration! And hey, if you ever feel like you’re falling short and need some more activities to spice up that sex life, you can always refer to The To Do List…I know I have!