Why You Need Roleplay In Your Life

Why You Need Roleplay In Your Life
Martin Moore
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Starting from wearing a nurse’s uniform in the bedroom when you’re into medical play to converting your entire den into a scene set in the ocean for practicing nylon fetish – while giving you one idea after another, I have come to believe that roleplay is everywhere.

This article is solely dedicated to roleplay, the sexual kind, mostly. There’s obviously a non-sexual kind as well. DDLG (Daddy Dom Little Girl) is a type such as that. So maybe I’ll dwell into that for a little while also. But DDLG, like any other BDSM play, makes use of roleplay for an entirely different end. Roleplay becomes the means to receiving that end. 

You dress as a little girl, while engaging in DDLG because you want to feel like a little girl. Dressing up makes it so much better than just showing up in a pair of jeans and a tee to watch cartoons lying on your “daddy’s” lap. But dressing up isn’t always necessary when you want to go to your little space. I’ve written an entire article at length about age plays like DDLG, you’ll find more information about this interesting fetish there.

For now, let’s dive into the world of roleplay and discover why it is so important. You already have an idea that it’s crucial for costumes to be there. This helps if you want to add something extra to spice up your sex life. Roleplay is indispensable when you’re looking to try something exciting and edgy. Let’s find out more about it then!

What is Role Play or Dressing Up?

Before we move on to anything else, what does one mean when they say they want to play in the bedroom? Roleplay is basically dressing up, in sexy costumes (the maid, the schoolgirl, the witch) or any costume that you think is suitable or sexy for you in the bedroom. If you think that your partner in a gorilla suit will turn you on, by all means, go for it. 

Roleplay entered our bedrooms a long time ago. There may have been a time when moaning a bit or faking an orgasm could have passed as acting in bed, but things have moved to a completely different level now. Whenever we talk about roleplaying in bed, costumes immediately come into our minds now. 

We think of a nurse and a doctor, or a schoolgirl with two braids just waiting to be spanked…and the more adventurous people might find the thoughts of a catsuit making its way into their minds. You dress up to engage erotically with your partner. Roleplay helps to fulfill your sexual fantasies, whatever they may be.

When you’re in costume, you get a chance to be someone other than yourself. You could be that naughty girl next door you always wanted to be (neighbor fantasy) or be submissive to your partner in a way you couldn’t be when you aren’t in costume (naughty child fantasy). So you see, roleplay sort of help let go of your sexual inhibitions. It nudges you to become freer with yourself and with sex.

A Brief History Of Roleplay

Roleplay began with the idea of bringing spice into relationships! A brief moment of flirtation with your partner – in a manner of talking that you don’t adopt every day – or a simple wish to look different from how you do all the time is the seed that nurtures this wish to play another character.

And, what may start out as simply doing something different in bed can also turn out to be a lifestyle. Roleplay has branched out to become a serious category under BDSM now. There’s a thrill in being someone else for a brief amount of time – you get to leave behind your own self and be free of the responsibilities that come with it.

This thrill is probably the reason why roleplay evolved from something like just dressing up to elaborate sessions of makeup, costumes, and dialogue in today’s world. People have desires and fantasies… Some of them are out there for the world to see, and some of them are hidden. Roleplay provides people with an outlet to let these fantasies come to life. 

The Different Types Of Roleplay

There are specifically two forms of roleplay – one includes costumes as a major part of it. This allows you to pretend to be someone else through your body language, gestures and the way you decide to dress up. 

sexy costume

The second type of roleplay allows you to be someone else entirely by going into a different headspace. This type of roleplay is also called ageplay (Like DDLG, as I’ve mentioned above). Ageplay also includes costumes. What else is, costumes enhance the experience one has during roleplaying in both cases!

Roleplay with specific costumes: Say you want to be a sexy waitress who wants to take a cute customer home that night. Say something like, “I know just what you should eat tonight!” or “Are you ready to order something you’d like?” – how about you select a costume, preferably of a waitress, that would go with it as well?

Or what about showing up in the bedroom wearing nothing but a coat? This has enticed couples throughout history – when the woman in the relationship becomes a sexier alter ego. Costumes during roleplay bring out your other persona. When you’re dressed for the occasion, it gives you the confidence to move ahead with the roleplay.

Ageplay as roleplay: In the submissive dominant BDSM role-plays you discuss the entire roleplay session, complete with the costumes and rules with your partner before engaging in the actual roleplaying. There’s also a safe word or certain safe gestures involved.

For example, let’s say you’re keen on playing the role of a little girl or boy (this play is called Daddy/Mommy Dom Little Girl/Boy) – this is ageplay but will include both costumes and the two partners playing the roles of a Little (the partner playing the role of a child) and the Caregiver (the parent figure).

Not everyone wants to sit and seriously consider why behaving like a little girl or boy makes them happy. Or why anyone would be interested in dressing up as the Pink Panther is beyond the understanding of men and women out there in the practical world. Whatever may the type be, roleplay gives people a space to be truly themselves…by letting them pretend to be someone else.

How Do I Begin?

There are some simple techniques you could use to introduce role-play into the conversation with your partner. Before the introduction of any kind of dressing up, you must have a talk with your significant other about what it is that you want. You can start the conversation in certain ways, like:

  • Talk about a dream you had. Tell your partner that you had a dream about something…if you want to dress up in a certain way, tell them you had a dream where you were that character and how much being in that role excites you! That’s one way to make your partner realize what kind of role play you’re into.
  • You could build your fantasy based on somewhere real. This is a perfect segue for someone trying role play for the first time! If you want to roleplay as a strict boss and an employee, you can always start talking about what you’d do if you and your partner were working together as the boss and an employee. Build your own story before acting it out!

Along with the introduction of this conversation, it’s also important to convey that the bedroom is a safe space for both of you. There should be no judgment and all fantasies should be considered – you could be a soccer mom wanting to be a sultry pizza delivery girl – don’t be shy about voicing what you want!

It’s also important that you set some boundaries beforehand. Start small with a conversation about the kinks that interest you and work your way towards fulfilling the quirkiest of your fantasies together! 

Some Roleplay Ideas For You 

Now, this is where I usually shine, giving you ideas on what to do and how to do it. Some roleplay ideas have been done to death yet they remain timeless classics. The boss and the employee roleplay, to begin with, have their own fun with the power dynamics of that relationship. I’ve researched extensively what has been done and what’s new and I think I can come up with some good ideas for you. 

Best Friends

This one is new, and I’ll tell you how. We are all familiar with the story of two best friends in love. They, after several failed relationships, find their true partners in each other and then ride happily into the sunset together on a camel. Well, it’s usually not that dramatic and the riding into the sunset part is just purely my imagination. Unless you’re imagining the final scene of The Mummy.

Anyway, the twist is you don’t have to be those kinds of best friends. You could be best friends, who instead of riding all those camels like to ride each other. It’s actually a really common wish to want to be best friends with your partner. Not all of us are lucky enough to find that. But not anymore, you can roleplay it all out, complete with dialogues. 

Just decide among yourselves what scene you want to play out. Are these friends meeting after a long time? Or have these friends grown up together and are only realizing they’re really into each other? The story, costumes, and how you want to play this all out depends completely on you.

LDR Roleplay

Long-distance relationships are hard…but some people like to romanticize them. No, really, when you haven’t met the person you love in ages the meeting is bound to be special. I remember this story one of my friends told me, how she wanted to be the first person her boyfriend saw when he came back from a 7-month-long internship in another country. 

She had booked a hotel, dressed up, and cooked dinner for him. And even when he was late and came to see her at almost around 3 in the morning, that night was something my friend remembers extremely fondly. So, what you do is roleplay this entire thing. You don’t necessarily have to play out this exact scenario…think of a story! And it doesn’t have to be 7 months either. Pick out the time, and the place, and maybe even book a hotel. Pretend you’re seeing each other after ages and get deeply into character.

Another aspect of LDR roleplay is when your partner hasn’t arrived yet. Then, all you need to be is in two different rooms to make this happen. LDR app-controlled sex toys can be really fun. And you don’t actually have to be apart to use them. Roleplay while using these toys and get the excitement of being in a long-distance relationship…without the pains of being in one!

Massage Therapist

massage roleplay

I’m not really talking about a Happy Ending massage where you get a massage and other things with it. Well, you can play this out if that’s something that appeals to you, but I was thinking, how about more of a surprised impromptu encounter with a massage therapist?

So, here’s what happens – You have ordered a massage because you’ve been hiking in the woods lately (woods, mountains, the park, up to you, really). The massage therapist comes over with essential oils for you and who knew the environment was going to be so enticing? Complete your roleplay session with proper costumes and a setting. I’ve already put emphasis on dressing up to play the part. 

You don’t necessarily have to go all-in if you don’t have the time or the means, just put a bathrobe around you and light some candles. Scented candles and aromatherapy oils would be going one step ahead but that’s entirely up to you. According to the story you’re playing out, either you could be the one to seduce the massage therapist or maybe they got a little too close to you while making sure your body is relieved of all that tension. Put a twist to the act of a massage therapist to enjoy some titillating times with your partner!

Playing Out Fantasy Shows

Before I get into this, I’d like to say that the last three ideas that I sprung upon you don’t really require much from you. You could put some effort, but it’s optional. For instance, the best friends roleplay can be enhanced by decorating your room like a teenager would. Or someone in their early twenties. This would be mixing age play with roleplay.

Or simply put more pictures of the two of you together – like best friends have pictures of each other in their rooms! This works for the LDR roleplay as well. Set the scene as if you’ve been away from each other for ages and have decorated your walls with your pictures, maybe some movie tickets, or anything that you think would be appropriate. You could also play out the scene when your partner is leaving with suitcases…

Anyway, this last idea requires you to go all in. To play out your favorite characters from fantasy shows or books isn’t a new thing. But you get the taste of real roleplay through this. Get your costumes, your dialogues, and your makeup right! Mix cosplay with roleplay and there you have it. Khaleesi and Khal Drogo can live forever this way, and so can Princess Leia (one of the most played-out fantasies)!

There are countless ideas for roleplay. Apart from all the ideas that you can get from this article, come up with some of your own! Introduce sex toys, dirty talk, or even BDSM because hey, after all, it’s your scene!


Roleplay in bed can be sexual but it doesn’t necessarily have to be so. What is crucial to understand is more and more people are adopting this lifestyle to give expression to their inner selves. If they want to involve the sexual factor in it, as consenting adults, they can do so.

Roleplay is an art that has evolved in this world to accommodate a lot of people. Be it pretending to be of a different age or being a different person, roleplay can be both fun and sensual! 

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