The Dildo Bible: What Is It And Why Do We Need It?
- What Actually Is a Dildo Bible?
- Why Did I Write It?
- The Contents of Dildo Bible
- Dragon Dildo
- Tentacle Dildo
- Alien Dildo
- Monster Dildo
- Canin Dildo
- Spiked Dildo
- Crystal Dildo
- Glass Dildo
- Squirting Dildo
- Rainbow Dildo
- Vibrating Dildo
- Thrusting Dildo
- Horse Dildo
- Strap-On Dildo
- Inflatable Dildo
- Strapless Strap-on Dildo
- Black Dildo
- Anal Dildo
- Huge Dildo
- Realistic Dildo
- Suction Cup Dildo
- Double Headed Dildo
- Silicone Dildo
- What Do You Think?
Note: this article is written for entertainment purposes only. It has nothing to do with religion and is not designed to offend anyone.
Yes, as I sit down to write this article, I am wholly aware of the discrepancies in the title above. And I am totally crossing my fingers here, hoping to dodge the wrath of God if that ever happens to fall on me. I was not entirely sure about calling this article, or this project for that matter, the ‘dildo bible’ but over time the name has grown on me. I’d call this project the dildo bible, talk to my friends about it and refer to it as the dildo bible, research on various types of dildos, and ask questions about them to people – and at the back of my mind, whenever something interesting came to me I’d make a mental note saying ‘yup, this piece of information needs to go on the dildo bible’.
So you see, there was no way I was going to call this project anything else. Titles like ‘The A-Z of Various Types Of Dildos’ or ‘Dildos Of Every Kind: Types and Uses’ (this one was pretty good actually, and it almost won except now it’s the runner up) came to my mind every now and then but Dildo Bible it was in the end. And if I think about it, what is a Bible? Isn’t a Bible something informative as well as authoritative in a particular sphere, even though that sphere is sex toys or dildos? You know what, I’m not gonna answer that and risk eternal damnation. Rather I’ll talk about what this dildo bible is about.
Descriptions: What Is A Dildo Bible?
A dildo bible basically is a series of texts, in this case, articles, about different types of dildos. When I say ‘texts’ I don’t mean the texts we send on the phone, by ‘texts’ I mean writings. Because it’s a dildo bible it’s filled with such writings (and yes, by writings I mean articles) about over 20 types of dildos. I’ve further tried and listed a few top-rated examples for each type of dildo with some tips about how to use them. Of course, the importance of lube is talked about more than once, because lube really is important. And most of these articles end with some frequently asked questions.
To have a dildo bible as this is actually really convenient. Most people out there who want to experience new things look for articles that’ll guide them on how to explore their sexual side. The newbies could use the help these articles may provide – bringing each type of dildo there is under one place, with options and links for where to get them, and listing some ways on how to make the most of these dildos. Then there are people with fetishes, fantasies, and a thirst for adventure…do you know how many times I’ve googled about particular dildos but found the same search results? Multiple times!
If I have a particular fetish, I want a particular type of dildo. And I want to know everything there is to know about that dildo. How marvelous it is to find a dildo bible with all the needed information in one place… extremely marvelous, I must say. Okay yes, maybe I should consider printing this dildo bible out in the form of a book.
Why Did I Write The Dildo Bible?
Honestly, at first, I was just curious. I’ve talked about this before, that the very first article I wrote was on dragon dildos. I saw a dragon dildo on my friend’s desk. She’s a furry (you can read my article to know more about it) and proud of it, so she decided to showcase her most prized possession (a superb dragon dildo) on her desk instead of keeping it inside a drawer. Then I started hearing more about dragon dildos and started my research. I write that first article because I found those sex toys vibrant and beautiful. I wrote the other 20+ or so articles because by the third article I was all in, completely dedicated and there was no turning back.
I’ve always been interested in sex toys. This is not because I’m a creep, no, neither because I’m always horny (I’m only sometimes horny like a completely normal person) but because I’ve always been free regarding sex and my body. I’ve grown up being open by my needs, or any of my partner’s needs and have understood that sex is an important part of a human’s life, among other things. So when I found out about this dragon dildo I realized there’s just so much more that I don’t know about. There are just so many people out there who feel things and do things differently than me or you or anyone and I wanted to create something which will have a common link to us all.
This dildo bible is a bridge that brings you and me together. I’ve included every type of dildo that there is. I’ve talked about who uses them, or why or how to use these dildos. And I’m very excited to share it with all of you!
An Exclusive: What’s In This Dildo Bible?
This dildo bible is filled with articles. So now I’m going to give out a short description of each of these articles. You can peruse through these descriptions yourself and decide which dildo interests you the most and where to begin!
To make the navigation easier, you can find each category on this menu, or go through them one by one:
- Fantasy dildos
- Fancy dildos
- The Ones With That Extra Oomph
- Miscellaneous: More Like, ‘These Are Pretty Good Too’
The Fantasy Realm
Here you will discover the most popular fantasy dildos. Halloween or not, you can enjoy some fantasy play in your bedroom (or a sex dungeon maybe?)
Dragon Dildo
This article, besides following the common structure of introduction, origin story, examples of items, how to use the dildo and FAQs talks about the kind of people who are interested in a dragon dildo. It gives out links to the interview of Bad Dragon’s founder (Bad Dragon is the Big Daddy of all the websites that sell fantasy dildos) and why he started the website. The article also talks about how other users feel while using a dragon dildo. If you’re new to the world of fantasy dildos, start collecting some information here!
Tentacle Dildo
This article was inspired by tentacle porn. No, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not really a connoisseur of the fine art of tentacle porn, but as I was researching fantasy dildos, I found that tentacle dildos were actually made after tentacle porn became popular. So there I was then, reading article after article about tentacle dildos. Talking to my friends about what kind of tentacle dildos they have or why they use them…and thus, this article was born.
Alien Dildo
This article was written quite recently. You’d think that people would stop at beings that belong in this realm but no, otherworldly creatures come to life with alien dildos. This article speaks about the best alien dildos and how to use them, obviously, but also tells you why alien dildos are so hot and happening.
Monster Dildo
This is a Halloween special article! And no, by monster dildo I do not mean dildos which are so huge they could replace buildings. Monster dildos are dildos modeled upon real monsters. Well, as real as monsters could get. Frankenstein, for example, has a FrankenCock. After you’re done reading this article, try and search up a monster dildo you would like to hide under your bed.
Canine Dildo
Dogs, Wolves, and even foxes at times make up canine dildos. These dildos have that special knot that makes them so coveted. People with fantasies about animals tend to use these dildos but make no mistakes, they don’t want to get it on with actual animals but animals with human characteristics bestowed on them. Canine dildos come with their own stories about who the penis belongs to and how he is. It’s all a fantasy coming true for some people.
Spiked Dildo
This one is half fantasy half “Oh my God wow why does it feel so good?”. For a second I wondered if I should put spiked dildos in a different category but realized that spikes are actually something fantasy lovers would want. This sex toy can be a bit tricky to use – ah but no worries because I’ve included all the necessary tips and advice in my article on spiked dildos – but they’re popular nonetheless. Spiked dildos, literally dildos with silicone made safe yet sort of pointy spikes, are for the people who are a bit more adventurous in bed.
The Fancy Choices
Feeling luxurious? Discover some of the fanciest dildo-type choices in the market. They may cost a little extra, however, they certainly will make you feel special.
Crystal Dildo
By fancy, I definitely meant artsy and classy and something that would straight out amaze you. Just reading about crystal dildos made me want to buy one. And now, not only do I know what Rose Quartz, Amethyst, Opal Lite, and Jasper are good for but I also know that Aquamarine is my crystal and I need to buy another crystal dildo, yes. Before you decide to buy one, you could read my article about it to find the best possible options!
Glass Dildo
I don’t know if you’d call a glass dildo fancy, but some of the options that I included in my article about glass dildos are straight-out pieces of art. Glass dildos are beautiful and can be actually used as centerpieces, as they’re made of glass. Well, maybe not centerpieces that go on the dinner table but they can definitely belong on top of your bedside table or desk. A glass dildo for you could be what a dragon dildo is for my friend!
Squirting Dildo
Well, don’t say that a squirting dildo is anything but fancy because it makes such a mess… because squirting dildos are the epitome of fancy. They’re so intricate. Squirting dildos might not be delicate but they have their own elegance. They are designed to give you optimum pleasure through heightened realistic features and I think that’s quite fancy.
Rainbow Dildo
Rainbow Dildo is fancy because it’s exclusive. And it’s also inclusive of all. Rainbow dildos are certainly a way to express yourself. These dildos with rainbow colors come in all shapes and sizes and can be used by anyone at all. You should definitely look at some of the options and see if your heart is set on any one of these rainbow dildos.
The Ones With That Extra Oomph
Here you will find dildos that are a little extra special and have the potential to make your toes curl from pleasure.
Vibrating Dildo
All the sex toys in this category can make you go “Oh my God wow why does it feel so good” but the vibrating dildo stands on top, uncontested. Need I say why everyone likes vibrations? They love it because it feels good. It feels so good a vibrator sex toy that vibrates at the end wasn’t just enough. Vibrating dildos vibrate throughout their body and yes, you need to have one of these.
Thrusting Dildo
This one comes a close second because of how amazing the design it. You sure have to hold it in place – look for the tips for usage in the article about thrusting dildos itself – but the motion a thrusting dildo makes certain gives you the big O. You won’t need anything else, just you and your sex you are enough for you to have the time of your life.
Horse Dildo
Size queens, I hear you. Horse dildos aren’t like canine dildos, people don’t really want to have sex with a horse. It’s the size of this sex toy that attracts people towards it. The anatomy also gives these dildos that extra oomph. Horse dildos can go up to 13 inches or even more. You can choose what you like the best from the options I’ve mentioned in the article about horse dildos.
Strap-On Dildo
This invention has changed people’s lives. I am not even kidding. Could you have ever imagined a woman being able to thrust a dildo inside a man before the invention of strap-on dildos? Pegging has become a hot and happening thing because of strap-on dildos. Lesbian couples also enjoy sex with strap-on dildos and we all sure are thankful for it.
Inflatable Dildo
This dildo is quite interesting. An inflatable dildo expands inside you to give you the feeling of extreme fullness. It is operated in certain ways – all information related to it is in the article about inflated dildos – and is quite easy to clean as well. If you’re looking for something that’ll give you excitement, adventure, and pleasure, an inflatable dildo is just the right choice for you.
Strapless Strap-on Dildo
This one dildo is just oozing oomph. Not just strapless, but also harness-less, strapless strap-on dildos are made to please both the partners using it. The dildo is made in such a way that it fits inside a partner and gives the impression of being an actual penis. Talk about being efficient…this one’s it.
Black Dildo
Of course, they have that extra oomph. Black dildos don’t just give you pleasure, they also look sexy while doing it. Black dildos have a personality of their own – what I mean is, not everyone can pick up a black dildo out of the blue. You’d have to sit down and pick your partner. Yes, a black dildo is your personal pleasure partner. Black in color, this dildo is a must-have in your dildo collection.
Miscellaneous: More Like, ‘These Are Pretty Good Too’
Here you will find the great dildos that simply don’t fit into one simple category. Some of the old-time classics to fancy choices you never knew existed.
Anal Dildo
Anal Dildo is a classic for anyone who likes the back door as much as the front door. My article on anal dildos explains how the anatomy of this sex toy is different from that of a regular dildo. The base of an anal dildo gives the user a surer grip. Some tips and available options for anal dildos are also included in the article.
Huge Dildo
As per the name, huge dildos are dildos that are huge. And rightly so, some dildos are so huge people use them as towel hangers in the bathroom. I’m not kidding, read my article to know more about The Moby Dick. But that’s not just it, more options and tips await you!
Realistic Dildo
For anyone who wants to forget they’re using a sex toy, a realistic dildo is their best bet. The texture of realistic dildos makes it feel like a real human male penis and the ones that come with attached balls take it to the next level. Read the complete article on realistic dildos to know more about how to use them in the best possible way!
Suction Cup Dildo
Most varieties of dildos come with a suction cup to give you a complete hands-free sensual experience but some particular dildos are known mostly for their strong suction cups. My article on them brings to you all you need to know about why a suction cup is something you’d want in your sex toy.
Double Headed Dildo
I’ve heard so many mixed opinions about it but I still own my opinion: A double-headed dildo is a great thing. There are just so many things you can do with this sex toy! In fact, I was so excited to write about double-headed dildos I threw caution out of the window and wrote freely both from my head and heart when writing the article about it!
Silicone Dildo
Silicone is just like lubes when it comes to sensual experiences, they’re both necessary and irreplaceable. Also, silicone dildos are the safest, most amazing sex toys ever made and I won’t hear otherwise. Anyone looking for a good dildo for regular use and something that’ll last a long time can get themselves one made of silicone with eyes closed and no question asked. My article on it brings to you some great options to choose from!
These are pretty much all the types that there are. Did you count how many there were? Or wait, did I miss something? If you think there’s a type missing from the list above, why don’t you write about it and send it my way? Who knows, maybe we’ll become best friends once we compare our notes!
Does The Dildo Bible Interest You?
So now, here is the fruit of my toils in front of you. The dildo bible, complete with more than 20 types of dildos – complete with descriptions, tips on how you use them, some cooked up origin stories in the case of some of them, and of course, the FAQs.
In some way, I undertook this journey for both you and me. It has been fun and now I get to share it with you all. Also, this is not the end because I’m not really stopping… I’m always on the lookout for the next best dildo there can be!
